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Friday, February 23, 2007

In Remembrance of Amanda

Remembering Amanda Kay Duty ~~ 1981 - 2004:

Young and beautiful,
Kind and sweet,
Loved and respected by all, but you were

Taken from us too soon.

With courage and strength,
You excepted your fate,
While all we could do was cry, and you were

Taken from us too soon.

You never knew you were my hero,
I want to tell you that now,
My life is better because I knew you, but you were

Taken from us too soon.

Amanda died 3 years ago today, she was just 22 years old. My best friend's husband Dewayne Hicks died on this same day just a year ago. I really hate February 23rd!






4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so glad that you posted this. It's great to know that someone in Cody's family hasn't forgotten about Amanda yet. Amanda was a wonderful person and Feb 23rd was a terrible day for all of us.

Thank you for your tribute. I look forward to it every year.

9:15 AM  
Blogger Joanne said...

I don't really think anyone has forgotten Amanda. I don't know how much contact you have with Cody, but having spent the last two years with him, I can tell you that she has had a lasting impression on everyone's lives. There's a reason Cody can't celebrate his birthday on his actual birthday, and pictures of her sit in our photo albums. Moving on in life in no way signifies forgetting someone.

5:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cannot say that I know Cody all that well. I was fairly close to Amanda though. And while I agree with your statement that moving on doesn't signify forgetting someone, it just seems that he "got over her" very quickly. I mean to some, getting engaged again less than 2 years after your fiance passes away, would seem pretty quick. And to those of us who were close to Amanda, it's almost a slap in the face to see him move on so quickly, and with you (Joanne) of all people.

Now don't get me wrong, I think that Cody has every right to move on and live happily with who ever he chooses, and I sincerely congratulate you both and wish you the best of luck with your upcoming bundle of joy.

It's just that for those of us who were close to Amanda, it's easy to get the impression that Cody has moved on and forgotten about her.

thanks for listening Joanne.

7:41 AM  
Anonymous Cody said...

Anonymous,
It's been three years. It has felt like 10, everyday I feel better and better, knowing it is getting put to the back of my mind. Amanda and I dated for 4 years. It was not the best relationship; we had a lot of ups and down, many more downs then up. We connected even more after she got cancer, but that was not the way our relationship began, it took almost three years before we got on a path where we knew we loved each other, and I could trust her.
When someone gets sick with cancer you can’t thank about the pass and just look to the future hoping everything will get better. For 5 months I sat by her side and did everything I could to make her happy, but end the end she lost her life, you can’t change that. Now for the one who is left living in a relationship (myself) they have there own personal hell to go through.
For 5 months even before she died I was judged while she was in and out of the hospital because people were talking behind my back saying I killed her because I don’t believe in god and I don’t believe in miracles. But I just believed in hope, a hope something would work.
After she died, I sat in a empty house that we shared together and cried a lot, I stayed in bed all day, I couldn’t eat, I lost my job, I flunk my last semester of school and found out I had given up all my friends for her and had none to help me when I needed help. I was so alone you will never know.
That was the worst year of my life, I dealt with more pain, suffering, sorrow, grief and anger then most my age will ever go through and for you to say I got over her very quickly is a kick in my stomach
For the ones that are close to Amanda, I had the same cell phone number and lived in the same house but I never heard from you, every so often I might get a call, but it was not because someone cared about me, they mostly wanted to see what I was doing and judge me for it behind my back.
I had to work every problem I had out myself, I had no-one to talk to, and everyday I had a 24 hour conversation in my head, wondering why. I relived the moment a saw her die in every dream I had. I couldn’t think. I could hardly live. No one had to go through what I did. I had to plan the funeral; I was going to have to pull the plug if she didn’t die when she did. I loved her, I loved her more then you will ever know. So I waited over a year to even start dating again. Then I had people like yourself judging me non-stop and watching my every move and then talking about me behind my back like they really knew me and what I was going through.
To the ones who judged with out talking to me I hope one day you have to go through your own personal hell, I didn't need you then and I don't need you now. Just because one dies it does not mean you have to end your own life. After a while I felt I had moved on over the giant hill I had been trying to climb up. I felt it was time to move on and I didn't care what anyone thought, my family, my friends or you. I am happier then I have ever been, and I don’t feel sorry for that. I still am living and she is still in my memories. We had a agreement to move on with our life’s if something happen, I know she would have made sure she would have did what she could have to be happy, just like I did. If you still can’t understand that, I feel sorry for you. If there is more you would like to know or ask me, you can stand up and ask me, my email is codysnapp@gmail.com.

1:52 PM  

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